


Falling into Something so Sublime

by Thatonegayone



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: Changing My Major, F/F, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 04:07:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20185999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatonegayone/pseuds/Thatonegayone
Summary: Alyssa Janelle Greene. It’s a door. Turn the handle and walk through it dammit.The number plate on the door seemed to laugh at her while she stared it down, trying to focus on anything other than her sweaty palms and racing heart. The soft padding of sneakers on the tile floor echoed down the hall and Alyssa stepped to the side, acting as though she was reading the flyers on the corkboard next to the door instead. Rainbow pieces of paper looked back at her, big block lettering declaring “Gay Union, meetings on Wednesdays at 7 Student Center room 311.”Based off of "Changing My Major" from Fun Home





	Falling into Something so Sublime

**Author's Note:**

> hi! 
> 
> I loved writing this, warning, just because of the nature of the song it's based off of it gets pretty spicy, if that's not your thing please don't read.

_ Alyssa Janelle Greene. It’s a door. Turn the handle and walk through it dammit.  _

The number plate on the door seemed to laugh at her while she stared it down, trying to focus on anything other than her sweaty palms and racing heart. The soft padding of sneakers on the tile floor echoed down the hall and Alyssa stepped to the side, acting as though she was reading the flyers on the corkboard next to the door instead. Rainbow pieces of paper looked back at her, big block lettering declaring “Gay Union, meetings on Wednesdays at 7 Student Center room 311.” 

“Hey, are you coming in?” A voice gently brought Alyssa out of her mental tailspin. The girl looking at her was blonde with glasses and was gorgeous, but in an understated way. She had on a well-worn flannel and jeans rolled up at the ankle so they didn’t touch her black high tops. There was something about this girl that oozed a quiet confidence, like she knew exactly who she was and owned it, and it made Alyssa, and the swirling uncertainty in her stomach, jealous. That jealousy quickly melted away as she saw the soft smile that the girl gave her, Alyssa couldn’t help but sneak a look at the smile and the blonde’s lips and —  _ shit. Maybe I am.... fuck . _

“Uh, no, I was just trying to find some information on German club.” Alyssa fumbled with the lie, trying to pass off the fact that she had been staring at room 311 for the past five minutes. 

“Oh — cool.” The blonde gave her a confused look before heading into the room, leaving a frustrated Alyssa in the hall. 

_ German club? Are you fucking kidding me Alyssa? You’re not going to figure all of this shit out unless you actually put yourself out there. _

Alyssa turned away from the door with a huff and decided to head towards her dorm, she had a philosophy assignment to get done and it’d be easier to focus on that instead of the rainbows flying around her mind. 

— 

Alyssa’s staring contest with the door to room 311 happened every Wednesday for a month, and every wednesday, without fail, she saw the blonde. The girl would throw a smile at Alyssa who would try to look busy with homework instead of trying to talk herself into walking into the meeting. One day after that first month of just smiling at Alyssa, the blonde sat down on the bench next to a slightly sweaty Alyssa. 

“So how’s German club?” The blonde smiled at Alyssa who started blushing. 

“Uh— I didn’t. I didn’t join.” Alyssa managed to get out, the blonde’s smile made Alyssa a different kind of nervous than she would feel watching the door. 

“Gotcha. I gotta say, I didn’t peg you for a German kinda girl,” she extended her hand out to Alyssa. “I’m Emma by the way. I figured since I see you every week I should probably introduce myself.” 

“Alyssa,” the brunette managed to get her name out, shaking Emma’s hand, very much aware of the way her stomach flipped when their hands touched. 

“Well, it is very nice to meet you Alyssa.” Emma’s lips curled into a half smile as she let go of Alyssa’s hand. “I don’t want to assume anything, but the union meetings are open to everyone, no matter how they identify, if you want to come in, you’re more than welcome to, it probably beats sitting out here doing homework.”

“Okay— I think I would like that,” Emma stood up and reached a hand out to help Alyssa to her feet. She grabbed her backpack and followed Emma into the room.

Inside was a lot of smiling people, they introduced themselves to Alyssa and saying hi to Emma. Emma stayed by Alyssa’s side and would throw the occasional soft smile her way. For some reason Alyssa couldn’t quite place, everything felt  _ right _ . 

Alyssa became a regular at the Gay Union meetings, taking in all of the political talk and flannel. She and Emma would sit next to each other and chat back and forth. Alyssa liked the meetings a lot, she was learning about a community she never could interact with back home in Edgewater and she was finding a lot of similarities with the people around her who were all sharing their stories. 

—

A few months into the semester, after actually attending meetings instead of staring down the door, Alyssa was ready to burn off some steam. Her Chemistry lab was kicking her ass and after the Philosophy test she just had, Alyssa Greene needed a break. 

Greek row was bustling with activity, music blaring from almost every frat house along the street and Alyssa was being (only a little reluctantly) dragged into the loudest house. Kaylee and Shelby were quickly scooped up by some fraternity boys and Alyssa was handed a red solo cup overflowing with some shitty beer. 

Knowing not to drink anything she hadn’t poured herself — and also respecting herself enough to not let herself drink natty lite — Alyssa quickly found the kitchen and poured it down the sink. She grabbed the bottle of vodka and cranberry juice and mixed a drink, way more cran than vodka, but that’s okay. Alyssa didn’t want to get too crazy tonight, she knew a lot of the guys at the party, but this wasn’t her kind of venue and she wanted to be in full control of herself surrounded by a bunch of people. 

Alyssa walked around the ground floor of the frat house, smiling and saying quick hellos to acquaintances.The bass was so loud that Alyssa could feel it in her chest like a secondary heartbeat, the only thing that cut through the deafening noise was a familiar laugh. Alyssa looked around, trying to find the source of the laugh, and there she was. 

Emma was sitting on a couch, talking with a few girls from the Union that Alyssa recognized. Just the sight of Emma’s blonde curls and slightly ripped jeans was enough to make Alyssa’s heart race. This had become a normal occurrence for Alyssa whenever she saw the blonde, but this time things were more intense than normal. She couldn’t tell if it was the change of environment or the addition of alcohol to her system, but to be honest, she didn’t mind.

“Alyssa?” Emma cocked her head to the side, giving a dopey smile to the brunette and standing up with her arms open. 

“Hey Em!” Ayssa tried to hide her visible giddiness as she wrapped Emma into a friendly hug. “Whatcha doing here?” 

“This is my cousin Greg’s house, he just got initiated.” She said, pointing to a boy making out with a girl in the corner of the room. “He’s kind of a mess, but he’s family. What are you doing here Lys?” 

“Shelby and Kaylee have been hanging out with some of the brothers and we all got invited.” Alyssa yelled to be heard over the music, Emma pulled her in a little by the elbow and leaned down so her ear was right by Alyssa’s lips. “But they found their buddies so I’m kinda just hanging out.”

“Do you wanna dance? It’ll give you something to do instead of just ‘hanging out.’” Alyssa nodded and Emma lead her into one of the larger rooms where a mob of drunk twenty-somethings were moving to the beat. 

It was abundantly clear that Emma couldn’t dance. She stood there awkwardly shuffling her feet with an embarrassed look on her face. Alyssa took pity on the blonde in front of her and moved closer to her, wrapping her arms around the back of Emma’s neck. Emma’s left hand went to her hip, softly holding it like Alyssa was made of glass. Emma downed the remnants of her red solo cup and crushed it in her hand before letting it fall to the ground, her now empty hand mirroring its twin, finding a place on Alyssa’s waist. Alyssa’s hips moved to the rhythm of the music, eight years of cheer and dance finally coming in handy. 

“Sexyback” blared through the speakers and the dance floor became claustrophobic with sweaty, dancing and over excited girls. The sudden influx of people on the floor pushed Emma and Alyssa closer together so their bodies were flush against each other, Emma’s leg just barely in between Alyssa’s and —  _ oh _ . 

Alyssa’s hand clutched onto the shoulder of Emma’s denim jacket. Their proximity made it hard for Alyssa to ignore the look in Emma’s eyes — it was dark, almost like her pupils were blown out as she danced closer and closer to Alyssa. Alyssa was pushed in even closer to Emma thanks to an overly drunk sorority girl accidentally stumbling into Alyssa’s back. 

The girls were nose to nose and Alyssa couldn’t help but let her eyes flicker down to Emma’s lips. Emma gave a slight nod and started to lean it until Alyssa tensed in her arms. The brunette was suddenly very aware of the amount of people she was about to kiss Emma Nolan in front of and while every fiber of her being was yelling at her to close the gap between their lips, her fear screamed louder. 

Emma’s eyes softened as she saw the flash of uncertainty travel through Alyssa’s face and she leaned back. Emma gently tugged on Alyssa’s hand and lead her out of the crowd and back towards the couch. 

The roar of the party was now overwhelming for Alyssa. Every pulse of the music was shooting through her body and everything just felt too close for comfort, like she was being suffocated. Emma was watching her with worry painting her face. 

“Hey, let’s get you some air, okay?” All Alyssa could do was nod as Emma walked her to the backyard of the frat house.

The cold November air filled Alyssa’s lungs, clearing her head and beginning to calm her nerves. Emma sat her down on the steps of the porch, kneeling in front of her and watching the brunette breathe. 

“Just breathe Alyssa, it’s all good. That was a lot of people all very close, it’s all good.” Alyssa was very aware of Emma’s hands on her knees. The pressure of her palms where her thighs met her knees flooded Alyssa’s body with a new type of buzz that wasn’t from the alcohol or anxiety. 

“Can we get out of here?” Alyssa murmured, not wanting to go back into the house. 

“Yeah, of course. Are you hungry?” Alyssa nodded. “Okay cool, I know a diner around here. My treat.” 

Emma helped Alyssa up to her feet and the two girls walked side by side towards a brightly lit 24 hour diner.

The smell of coffee and bacon grease was a welcome change from cheap beer and sweat of the party. Alyssa and Emma slid into a booth and ordered coffee and pancakes. It was amazing how easy conversation was between the two of them. Jokes flowing back and forth, and Alyssa couldn’t think of a time that she had smiled this much talking to someone. 

Emma’s eyes kept flickering down from Alyssa’s eyes to her lips and back up again. Every time her eyes looked down, Alyssa’s stomach fluttered, but she couldn’t quite place why Emma kept looking at her like this — not that she minded it though. It wasn’t until Emma leaned forward, hand outstretched toward her face that the fluttering in her stomach turned into backflips. 

Everything seemed to slow down as Emma’s thumb brushed the corner of Alyssa’s bottom lip, picking up a drop of syrup that Alyssa missed. Alyssa couldn’t breathe for the second that Emma’s thumb was on her lip, all she could think about was how it would feel to have her lips where her thumb was. Alyssa was transfixed on the idea of kissing Emma that she hardly noticed the waitress who came up to the table.

The waitress dropped by the table with their check, breaking Emma’s focus on Alyssa. The blonde looked up and smiled at the waitress, thanking her for the meal and reaching for the check with her syrup-less hand. Alyssa’s heart nearly stopped as Emma brought her thumb up to her lips, licking the syrup off of it before grabbing the pen to leave a tip.

The world was spinning, and not in the fun “oh I drank too much” because both girls were stone cold sober. No, this spinning was a life shattering one — well, really a life affirming one. Alyssa followed Emma out of the diner and down the street, very aware of the proximity of the blonde. 

Every fiber of Alyssa’s being was yelling at her to close that distance and kiss her, and she was done trying to silence this part of her. She pulled Emma in by the lapels of her denim jacket and kissed her with everything she had within her—

And the world that was spinning out of control…stopped. All that mattered was Emma’s lips on hers. Emma’s hands tangled up in her hair. The way Emma tasted like coffee and vanilla chapstick. The way Emma smelled like fresh laundry and sandalwood. All that mattered was Emma Nolan — and everything started to make complete sense. 

Emma pulled back from Alyssa’s lips and pressed their foreheads together. “Do you wanna go somewhere that’s not the middle of the sidewalk?” Alyssa quickly nodded and moved her hands down from their grip on Emma’s jacket to her hands, linking their fingers together. 

“My place is a couple of blocks away.” Alyssa said as she pulled on their hands as she tried to not run down the street towards her apartment. 

— 

It didn’t take long until Emma was standing in Alyssa’s bedroom, looking at a nervous Alyssa sitting on the bed, shoes and socks left at the bedroom door. 

“I’ve never done this before,” Alyssa mumbled, looking down at her hands. “With anyone.” 

“Hey— that’s okay Lys, we don’t have to do anything here,” Emma said.

“No, I want to Emma. I want to with  _ you _ .” Alyssa looked up from her hands to make eye contact with Emma before standing up and pulling Emma into a fiery kiss.

Emma pulled away almost as quickly as she was pulled in to kiss Alyssa. Her eyes got wide as Alyssa chased her lips a little too excitedly and they both fell onto the bed, Emma on top of Ayssa, faces mere inches apart. Alyssa closes the distance between them, kissing Emma like she was the first gulp of oxygen after drowning. Emma’s hands stayed on Alyssa’s cheeks, helping her get a better angle against the onslaught of Alyssa’s lips. 

Emma slid her jacket off, not breaking away from Alyssa’s lips. Her hands settled on Alyssa’s hips, fingers gently digging into the fabric of her t-shirt. Alyssa’s fingers tangled into the curls at the nape of Emma’s neck, and pulled slightly. The whimper that escaped Emma’s lips was enough to set Alyssa’s entire body on fire, and she wanted nothing more than to hear what other sounds she could get from the blonde on top of her. 

Alyssa had an overwhelming need to get Emma closer to her, and their clothes were proving to be an annoying barrier. She tugged at the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head before throwing it across the room. Emma separated herself from Alyssa and took a heated second to just  _ look _ at Alyssa. Her eyes went dark as she took in the sheer amount of bare skin now revealed to her. 

“Alyssa, you’re beautiful,” the words came out breathy and awestruck, causing a blush to settle on Alyssa’s cheeks. This was the first time that when someone called her beautiful that actually felt right to Alyssa. For the first time in her life, Alyssa felt truly beautiful and not like she was being viewed as some sort of sex object for whoever she passed on the street. 

Alyssa couldn’t find words to respond, so she brought Emma back in for a kiss. Emma’s hands traveled a little higher from their place on Alyssa’s waist, her thumbs brushing the sides of Alyssa’s abs, goosebumps forming under Emma’s fingers. Emma’s lips traveled down Alyssa’s cheek to her neck, gently nibbling on Alyssa’s pulse. She smiled when Alyssa let out a choked gasp and arched her body up off the bed further into Emma’s. 

Emma took her hands off of Alyssa, much to her dismay, to pull her shirt off over her head in one effortless motion. Alyssa’s eyes got big as she took in Emma sitting on top of her in just jeans and a bra. Everything about Emma looked so immensely soft from her skin, to the gentle curves of her waist, to her —  _ wow _ . 

“Is this actually happening right now?” Alyssa asked herself, hardly realizing she said it outloud because she was so distracted by the woman straddling her. 

“If you want it to.” Emma said, leaning back a little onto her heels. “Everything is up to you, I am not going to do anything without you saying it’s okay, okay?” 

“Okay. Can you go back to kissing me again please?” Emma chuckled and leaned back into Alyssa, kissing her. 

This time Alyssa started pressing kisses down Emma’s neck, gently latching on with her lips where Emma’s neck met her shoulder. Emma sharply inhaled through her teeth which melted into a full out moan. Alyssa’s teeth brushed the red mark that was beginning to form and Emma’s blunt nails dug into Alyssa’s back. 

“Shit, Alyssa, you’re really fucking—” another sharp breath. “Good at this.” 

Alyssa’s entire body was flooded with a new kind of warmth at the praise from the blonde and all she wanted was to get more. She doubles her efforts along Emma’s collarbones, before she could even reach for it, Emma slid her bra strap down her shoulder so Alyssa could get better access to the sliver of skin.

Emma grabbed Alyssa by the hips and somehow switched their position, Alyssa was far too focused on the pressure of Emma’s hands on her to figure out how. She was now situated on Emma’s lap, one of her knees was between Emma’s leg. Emma’s hand went to Alyssa’s bra clasp, looking up into Alyssa’s eyes before muttering a soft “can I?” Alyssa nodded into Emma’s neck as she felt the band around her chest loosen and she shrugged it off of her shoulders. 

The way Emma looked at her, like she was hand sculpted by God himself to be the definition of beauty, was enough to melt away any and every doubt she had about herself, tonight or Emma. Alyssa Greene didn’t have to worry about a single damn thing if she didn’t want to, because, at least tonight, the world and Emma Nolan are working together to make everything make sense for her.

All Alyssa could focus on was Emma and how she made her feel. How her hands felt trailing down her side and up her thigh. How it felt when her jeans were slowly peeled off down her legs. How it felt when Emma whispered how good she was doing in her ear. Every little thing Emma did was enough to set Alyssa’s entire body on fire. 

Her hips started to roll on top of Emma’s, now bare, thigh as Emma nipped at the tops of Alyssa’s breasts. Emma ghosted one hand down Alyssa’s side until she was pushing down on her hip with enough pressure to push Alyssa down further onto Emma’s leg and —  _ oh God. _

Alyssa couldn’t help the whine that escaped from her throat as she kept grinding into Emma. Her movements became more erratic because she needed more, but she couldn’t quite get it from just Emma’s leg. Emma was watching her, entranced as Alyssa’s hips moved faster and faster. 

“Babe, can I help you out a little?” Emma said in a strained voice. Alyssa let out breathy consent and the hand Emma was using to hold herself up in a sitting position snaked around to Alyssa’s abs. It slowly traveled lower until the tips of her fingers brushed the elastic of Alyssa’s underwear. “Is this okay?” 

Alyssa nodded and guided Emma’s hand where she needed it the most. All Alyssa could see was white as Emma gently moved her fingers and kissed her neck. It took one small “You’re doing so good” from Emma to make Alyssa fall apart completely. 

“Shit.” Alyssa panted as she recovered, Emma’s hand still gently rubbing circles into her. “Fuck, is it always like that?” 

Emma laughed and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “most times, yeah.” 

“Can I — Can I. Shit. Can I help you feel this too?” Alyssa asked, eyes big as she took in Emma’s smile. 

“Only if you want to, I am more than okay with making this about you babe.” Emma pressed a soft kiss to Alyssa’s lips that Alyssa immediately deepened, pulling their bodies close together. Emma fell back onto the bed and Alyssa began trailing kisses down her throat and chest. 

Her hand slipped down to the top of Emma’s underwear before her courage faltered. “I don’t — I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Emma’s hand rested on top of hers, holding it there gently. “That’s okay, if you want to I can kinda show you how I like it?” Alyssa’s heart race picked up and she nodded, trying to swallow to distract herself from just how dry her mouth had gotten. Emma and Alyssa’s joined hands slipped between her legs and both girls gasped. 

“Holy shit, I think imma pass out,” Alyssa whispered. 

“You’re so adorable I can’t—” the rest of Emma’s sentence was cut off by a guttural moan. Alyssa was transfixed on everything her and Emma’s hands were doing and the sounds that were coming from the blonde underneath her. Emma slid her hand up off of Alyssa’s and she was on her own, but all she could focus on was how to keep having Emma make these sounds. 

_ If I could change my major to just these incredibly important noises Emma was making right now I would in a heartbeat. Maybe if I dedicated enough time to learning everything she can about how to elicit these noises from Emma it could count as a Women’s Studies class credit. They let you do out of classroom studies for credit right?  _

It didn’t take long until Emma was clutching at Alyssa’s free hand, gripping it tight and lacing their fingers together as her hips went up to meet Alyssa’s other hand. 

Four very  _ very _ enjoyable hours later, Alyssa was fast asleep in the arms of Emma Nolan. 

— 

The light was streaming in through Alyssa’s blinds, and the steady of Emma’s breathing below Alyssa slowly pulled her out of sleep. Everything was calm and felt  _ right _ . A panic began to build in the bottom of Alyssa’s stomach —  _ everything felt too right.  _

Everything that Alyssa had thought she knew was suddenly crashing down around her and Emma’s arms suddenly felt like a boa constrictor. She sat up scooted down to the foot of the bed to give herself some distance from the blonde, not wanting her panic to wake her up. 

_ I can get through this. Fuck. What’s Mom going to think? Shit. Fuck. Shit. I can’t be gay. I can’t be gay. I can’t be gay. I can’t be ga— _

“Lyssa, are you okay?” Emma was now sitting behind her and Alyssa was suddenly very aware at how naked they both were. She pulled the comforter up around her shoulders the best she could. Emma’s hand was on her shoulder, thumb tracing comforting lines into the comforter that Alyssa could barely feel. Emma slipped off of the bed and put on her t-shirt and underwear before walking around to kneel in front of Alyssa.

“I think I’m— no. I am. I’m a lesbian.” Alyssa barely got the words out in a nearly inaudible whisper.

“Thank you for trusting me with this Alyssa.” Emma said softly, looking up at Alyssa from her place on the floor with nothing but softness in her hazel eyes. “Is that your first time saying that outloud?” 

Alyssa just nodded, very much aware of the weight that was being lifted off of her shoulders. It felt like everything was finally making sense — why she didn’t go through the same boy crazy fueled obsessions as her friends, why she found herself watching her fellow cheerleaders instead of the football team, and why every single time she kissed her past boyfriends she didn’t feel even a fraction of what she felt kissing Emma. 

“Hey, are you okay? I know this past 12 hours have probably been a lot,” Alyssa nodded before slowly breaking into a smile, reflecting on everything these past few hours have entailed. 

“Yeah, I kinda want to do it again,” Alyssa said, placing one of her hands on Emma’s cheek. 

“We can definitely do it again,” Emma smiled as she pushed up into a kiss. Alyssa laid back as Emma climbed on top of her, both girls smiling into the kiss. 

Alyssa could shut off everything else for a while, right now all that mattered was Emma Nolan.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all,  
This has kinda been a passion project for me for a while, a huge thank you to Britt, Alex, Dani, Randa, and especially Karissa for keeping me sane while I wrote this. 
> 
> kudos and comments keep me writing and bring me joy.


End file.
